Dear Kayla,
I would like to write a little more about going back to work.
It can be difficult to choose precisely what sort of job or volunteer work to look for. I have heard a lot of people say that they don't even know where to start. It can be very difficult to know what you do and don't need, what you do and don't like, what you can and can't handle, until you try it out. People close to you might have some suggestions, but no one really knows for sure what they can and can't do until they try it.
I suggest starting with whatever interests you. Try to think of some sort of work or activity you would like to try. Don't worry about whether it is possible to find a job with that interest, financially viable, or any other limitation. Just think of things you would like to do.
Then go on a large job or volunteer site such as www.craigslist.org, www.monster.com, www.indeed.com, www.idealist.org, or www.volunteermatch.org. Read through different job or volunteer notices. Don't apply to jobs or do anything other than read the notices. Try to figure out which posts interest you.
Try to look for themes. What do these interests and notices have in common? What could you reasonably do now? What do the posts which most interest you require? What could you work toward in the short term?
Once again, you need to start with what you can do. Once you start you can gain more of a sense of what you can and can't do and what to work toward in the future. Starting is the most difficult piece. But hopefully if you look carefully both within yourself and at websites and possibly other material from the outside world, you can work to start bridging these gaps.
Monday, September 23, 2013
Saturday, June 29, 2013
On-line Courses
Dear Kayla,
I have recently been taking some of the new MOOC's (Massive Open Online Courses) and finding them extremely helpful. I have been working to build my academic skills for a while now. I had considerable psychiatric difficulties both in college and in graduate school. While I was able to fix the psychiatric problems, I had missed developing some academic skills. Right now the MOOC's are really helping me.
The courses are offered on-line, which means I can do them when I can focus and concentrate (as opposed to traditional classes where you attend on a set schedule). Most of the lectures are broken up into smaller segments (usually not more than twenty minutes). That is a considerable advantage for me even now.
If you want to try it I would suggest you start with one course. Pick the one course that sounds most interesting to you and do it for at least two weeks before adding any additional courses. It takes a little while to grow used to being back in school, even on-line courses, and to understand and accommodate what the course expects. Also, for your first class, choose what is most interesting to you, not what you most need. You need to grow used to taking these courses first. Once you know what to expect, you can focus on other needs.
I think the largest selection of courses is at http://www.coursera.org. Another site with good courses is at http://www.edx.org. A comprehensive (but overwhelming) list is at http://www.class-central.com.
Good luck!
I have recently been taking some of the new MOOC's (Massive Open Online Courses) and finding them extremely helpful. I have been working to build my academic skills for a while now. I had considerable psychiatric difficulties both in college and in graduate school. While I was able to fix the psychiatric problems, I had missed developing some academic skills. Right now the MOOC's are really helping me.
The courses are offered on-line, which means I can do them when I can focus and concentrate (as opposed to traditional classes where you attend on a set schedule). Most of the lectures are broken up into smaller segments (usually not more than twenty minutes). That is a considerable advantage for me even now.
If you want to try it I would suggest you start with one course. Pick the one course that sounds most interesting to you and do it for at least two weeks before adding any additional courses. It takes a little while to grow used to being back in school, even on-line courses, and to understand and accommodate what the course expects. Also, for your first class, choose what is most interesting to you, not what you most need. You need to grow used to taking these courses first. Once you know what to expect, you can focus on other needs.
I think the largest selection of courses is at http://www.coursera.org. Another site with good courses is at http://www.edx.org. A comprehensive (but overwhelming) list is at http://www.class-central.com.
Good luck!
Sunday, June 2, 2013
Waiting
Dear Kayla,
Some parts of improvement can be extremely exasperating. There are some times when you are working on a major step and slowly building it piece by piece. That can be repetitive and tedious, but you cannot really move on to next steps without mastering the one you are currently working on. And often you can only concentrate on that step for a few hours a day (or even a week). It can be very annoying to have to wait, especially when you can see further ahead.
There is not much you can do about the tedium. Many major steps require careful and repetitive practice. If you rush through them you will most likely have problems down the line.
Don't take breaks. Spend as much time as you can handle on building that step. Tell yourself again and again that you will move through it - that you are doing your best to move through it as quickly as possible.
If you can, try to think of some smaller, unrelated step you can take in addition to the major step you are working on. Even if it is not what you need, as long as it is in the right direction you will benefit from it. And it can help you deal with the tedium. But the #1 rule is: Don't distract yourself from your primary step. As soon as you think these additional steps are distracting you from your main goal, stop them immediately. You can try to add more eventually. But your top priority is moving toward your main goal.
Some parts of improvement can be extremely exasperating. There are some times when you are working on a major step and slowly building it piece by piece. That can be repetitive and tedious, but you cannot really move on to next steps without mastering the one you are currently working on. And often you can only concentrate on that step for a few hours a day (or even a week). It can be very annoying to have to wait, especially when you can see further ahead.
There is not much you can do about the tedium. Many major steps require careful and repetitive practice. If you rush through them you will most likely have problems down the line.
Don't take breaks. Spend as much time as you can handle on building that step. Tell yourself again and again that you will move through it - that you are doing your best to move through it as quickly as possible.
If you can, try to think of some smaller, unrelated step you can take in addition to the major step you are working on. Even if it is not what you need, as long as it is in the right direction you will benefit from it. And it can help you deal with the tedium. But the #1 rule is: Don't distract yourself from your primary step. As soon as you think these additional steps are distracting you from your main goal, stop them immediately. You can try to add more eventually. But your top priority is moving toward your main goal.
Saturday, April 6, 2013
Physical Organization
Dear Kayla,
As I said in my last post, organizing physical space was a lesser priority for a long time. I am working on it now myself. I will share what I have learned thus far.
Organizing physical space is different from organizing your time or your diet or other aspects. When you are organizing your time or diet, you are best off looking closely at what you are doing now and finding small ways to make things better and better. The more you can incorporate those steps into your daily life the more likely you will be to stick with them. Over time, you can build on what you have already done and eventually add more steps.
Organizing physical space is different. The first step to organizing your physical space is: Throw things out. The first and most critical piece is figuring out what you need to keep and what you can throw out. Take a close look at your space and decide what you can afford to throw out. That is more difficult than it sounds but absolutely crucial. If you decide to keep something, you will have a better sense of why you need it and where to place it.
Don't worry about that last part of now. Just find things which you can throw out.
One thing that might help you (it helped me) is to start by organizing your computer desktop or e-mail inbox. Obviously, this would not change the appearance of your living space, but it is the same basic principle (and much easier to do). I found it to be good practice to learning how to organize other more obvious areas.
Good luck.
As I said in my last post, organizing physical space was a lesser priority for a long time. I am working on it now myself. I will share what I have learned thus far.
Organizing physical space is different from organizing your time or your diet or other aspects. When you are organizing your time or diet, you are best off looking closely at what you are doing now and finding small ways to make things better and better. The more you can incorporate those steps into your daily life the more likely you will be to stick with them. Over time, you can build on what you have already done and eventually add more steps.
Organizing physical space is different. The first step to organizing your physical space is: Throw things out. The first and most critical piece is figuring out what you need to keep and what you can throw out. Take a close look at your space and decide what you can afford to throw out. That is more difficult than it sounds but absolutely crucial. If you decide to keep something, you will have a better sense of why you need it and where to place it.
Don't worry about that last part of now. Just find things which you can throw out.
One thing that might help you (it helped me) is to start by organizing your computer desktop or e-mail inbox. Obviously, this would not change the appearance of your living space, but it is the same basic principle (and much easier to do). I found it to be good practice to learning how to organize other more obvious areas.
Good luck.
Wednesday, March 27, 2013
Starting to Organize
Dear Kayla,
Organization. That is one key piece which you will eventually need to move ahead. Most people with mental illness are not very good at it. But it is a critical area which you will need to learn in order to move forward.
It takes years to learn how to properly organize things. By definition, organization is the ability to arrange things to meet your needs and fit the requirements of your own life. No one else can give you organization skills. You need to develop them yourself.
Also, organization takes numerous forms. Organizing your physical space is only one small part of it. My apartment is not well organized even now. Frankly, I haven't learned to do that one well yet. When I started to learn to organize, I worked toward organizing my time and my diet - not my physical space. But I can tell you what I have learned thus far.
My basic advice is the same advice I give over and over: Start with what you can do, not what you need.
Organizing your time means figuring out the details of what you can and cannot handle. You are probably - hopefully - working on some larger interventions even now. But you can't do that all day every day. Try to think of productive ways to fill some of your downtime. You will probably need to start small - maybe only ten minutes a day doing something productive. But once you learn how to do it you can start coming up with more and more strategies to use your time better.
The details of these interventions are specific to you and your needs. No one else can tell you what you can and can't handle.
The most important piece is not to compromise your main intervention. If your primary intervention starts sliding, put everything else on hold. This may well take some trial and error to figure out the details of what you can and cannot handle.
Organization is a major topic. I will be writing more on it later.
Organization. That is one key piece which you will eventually need to move ahead. Most people with mental illness are not very good at it. But it is a critical area which you will need to learn in order to move forward.
It takes years to learn how to properly organize things. By definition, organization is the ability to arrange things to meet your needs and fit the requirements of your own life. No one else can give you organization skills. You need to develop them yourself.
Also, organization takes numerous forms. Organizing your physical space is only one small part of it. My apartment is not well organized even now. Frankly, I haven't learned to do that one well yet. When I started to learn to organize, I worked toward organizing my time and my diet - not my physical space. But I can tell you what I have learned thus far.
My basic advice is the same advice I give over and over: Start with what you can do, not what you need.
Organizing your time means figuring out the details of what you can and cannot handle. You are probably - hopefully - working on some larger interventions even now. But you can't do that all day every day. Try to think of productive ways to fill some of your downtime. You will probably need to start small - maybe only ten minutes a day doing something productive. But once you learn how to do it you can start coming up with more and more strategies to use your time better.
The details of these interventions are specific to you and your needs. No one else can tell you what you can and can't handle.
The most important piece is not to compromise your main intervention. If your primary intervention starts sliding, put everything else on hold. This may well take some trial and error to figure out the details of what you can and cannot handle.
Organization is a major topic. I will be writing more on it later.
Saturday, December 29, 2012
Going Off Medications
Dear Kayla,
Not many people are aware that I have successfully managed to go off psychiatric medications. When people do find that out, they urge me for advice or suggestions. I actually do not have that many suggestions. But I wanted to tell you the little I have learned.
My last psychiatrist realized I was over-medicated. He took me off some psychiatric meds within months or a year or so after I started seeing him (I forget the exact time frame). At the time, I did not realize how unusual this treatment was. I have since learned that most doctors will insist their patients remain on medicines regardless of what the patient wants. I did not personally encounter that situation, and I am not sure how to advise people about it. I apologize for that.
After a while my psychiatrist decided to take me off my primary antidepressant. I knew it was not the right time - I despised the place I was working at the time - but I was too meek to speak up. That was a considerable mistake. I grew increasingly miserable and ended up going back on a higher dose of the antidepressant than I was originally taking.
In theory, the doctor was supposed to wait a year after that before trying to take me off medicines again. Eight months after that failed first attempt I was in a much better job, feeling better about myself, and essentially told my psychiatrist, "Take me off these things now." He agreed on the condition that we go slowly. I think (it was about five years ago and I don't remember all the details perfectly) we started at a dose of 300 mg and reduced it by 75 mg each month. When we first started cutting the doses it would take a day or two for my body to adjust and then I would be hit with depressive symptoms. I would need to withdraw from activities as much as possible and figure out ways to cope. After a few days both my body and my mind would start to adjust and I would be able to function more fully. Usually after a month I would be more than ready to reduce the dose again.
One time I asked to postpone our scheduled dose-reduction because I was dealing with considerable external stress and knew that I could not deal with both issues at once (the changes while reducing the dose and the external crisis). That proved to be a very wise decision. After two weeks I was able to continue going off the medication. I think if I had tried to keep the schedule I would have relapsed.
After a few months I started being able to anticipate and plan for dose-reduction problems ahead of time. After that it grew much easier.
My antidepressant was the most difficult medicine to stop taking. There are a few lessons I can give you from my story: (1) Do not attempt to stop taking medicines unless you are reasonably satisfied with your present life. I think waiting a year - the psychiatric recommendation - is excessive, but you need to be fairly happy with what you are doing and what you are feeling at the present time (2) Go slowly and give your mind and your body time to adjust (3) Don't hesitate to postpone reducing the dose if your life circumstances change and/or you have a crisis. Going off medicines is difficult enough. If you add outside stress it can be overwhelming.
I hope this is helpful.
Not many people are aware that I have successfully managed to go off psychiatric medications. When people do find that out, they urge me for advice or suggestions. I actually do not have that many suggestions. But I wanted to tell you the little I have learned.
My last psychiatrist realized I was over-medicated. He took me off some psychiatric meds within months or a year or so after I started seeing him (I forget the exact time frame). At the time, I did not realize how unusual this treatment was. I have since learned that most doctors will insist their patients remain on medicines regardless of what the patient wants. I did not personally encounter that situation, and I am not sure how to advise people about it. I apologize for that.
After a while my psychiatrist decided to take me off my primary antidepressant. I knew it was not the right time - I despised the place I was working at the time - but I was too meek to speak up. That was a considerable mistake. I grew increasingly miserable and ended up going back on a higher dose of the antidepressant than I was originally taking.
In theory, the doctor was supposed to wait a year after that before trying to take me off medicines again. Eight months after that failed first attempt I was in a much better job, feeling better about myself, and essentially told my psychiatrist, "Take me off these things now." He agreed on the condition that we go slowly. I think (it was about five years ago and I don't remember all the details perfectly) we started at a dose of 300 mg and reduced it by 75 mg each month. When we first started cutting the doses it would take a day or two for my body to adjust and then I would be hit with depressive symptoms. I would need to withdraw from activities as much as possible and figure out ways to cope. After a few days both my body and my mind would start to adjust and I would be able to function more fully. Usually after a month I would be more than ready to reduce the dose again.
One time I asked to postpone our scheduled dose-reduction because I was dealing with considerable external stress and knew that I could not deal with both issues at once (the changes while reducing the dose and the external crisis). That proved to be a very wise decision. After two weeks I was able to continue going off the medication. I think if I had tried to keep the schedule I would have relapsed.
After a few months I started being able to anticipate and plan for dose-reduction problems ahead of time. After that it grew much easier.
My antidepressant was the most difficult medicine to stop taking. There are a few lessons I can give you from my story: (1) Do not attempt to stop taking medicines unless you are reasonably satisfied with your present life. I think waiting a year - the psychiatric recommendation - is excessive, but you need to be fairly happy with what you are doing and what you are feeling at the present time (2) Go slowly and give your mind and your body time to adjust (3) Don't hesitate to postpone reducing the dose if your life circumstances change and/or you have a crisis. Going off medicines is difficult enough. If you add outside stress it can be overwhelming.
I hope this is helpful.
Monday, April 9, 2012
4/9/12
Dear Kayla,
I have been working toward learning to interact more with the world.
When you are interacting with someone you don't know well, it is easy to feel slighted. When people don't know you well, they don't understand how you will feel and react to certain small things. Chances are they don't even know what bothered you. I know I have done that to other people on numerous occasions. But it can be really difficult to tell: When is someone's slight genuine and when is it your imagination?
Part of many people's mental illness is a difficulty distinguishing between the two. Some people ignore legitimate threats, and a greater number interpret insignificant nuances and coincidences as intentional threats. I can't tell you how to distinguish real threats from misinterpreted ones in a single letter. That takes years: Frankly, I think that NO ONE, with or without a psychiatric history, is able to perfectly distinguish real threats from imagined ones. But I can give advice.
I have learned that if someone slights you or seems annoyed at you, one thing to examine is whether they are treating everyone that way or just you. Other people have their own problems, they have their own bad moods, and as I said before they can slight people without even knowing it. If you can, watch them closely as they interact with other people. Try to emphasize with the "other people," not the person who upset you. Do your best to imagine how those "other people" feel as they are interacting with this person. Would they feel slighted or upset or put off, too? That is a really clear sign it is not just you.
As I said, social interactions are extremely complex and take a long time to learn. But I can share what works for me.
I have been working toward learning to interact more with the world.
When you are interacting with someone you don't know well, it is easy to feel slighted. When people don't know you well, they don't understand how you will feel and react to certain small things. Chances are they don't even know what bothered you. I know I have done that to other people on numerous occasions. But it can be really difficult to tell: When is someone's slight genuine and when is it your imagination?
Part of many people's mental illness is a difficulty distinguishing between the two. Some people ignore legitimate threats, and a greater number interpret insignificant nuances and coincidences as intentional threats. I can't tell you how to distinguish real threats from misinterpreted ones in a single letter. That takes years: Frankly, I think that NO ONE, with or without a psychiatric history, is able to perfectly distinguish real threats from imagined ones. But I can give advice.
I have learned that if someone slights you or seems annoyed at you, one thing to examine is whether they are treating everyone that way or just you. Other people have their own problems, they have their own bad moods, and as I said before they can slight people without even knowing it. If you can, watch them closely as they interact with other people. Try to emphasize with the "other people," not the person who upset you. Do your best to imagine how those "other people" feel as they are interacting with this person. Would they feel slighted or upset or put off, too? That is a really clear sign it is not just you.
As I said, social interactions are extremely complex and take a long time to learn. But I can share what works for me.
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